What hurts our hearts the most is seeing couples not enjoy each other or the planning process. Yes, weddings are stressful, but they don’t need to be. They should be fun. They should be full of champagne and laughter. They should be full of love. However, people often let this one day become bigger than the relationship.
Owner and lead planner, Sarah Q., was recently interviewed by Wedding Wire about signs it might be time for a little couple alone time while planning your wedding. The article entitled, “6 Signs You Need a Relationship Reboot Before Your Wedding,”provides readers with some things to be on the look out for during wedding planning.
Our team often says we are more than just wedding planners. We are therapists. We are friends. We are the shoulder for you to cry on. It is only natural the longer we spend with you, the more engrained in your relationship and family we become. We see everything.
What hurts our hearts the most is seeing couples not enjoy each other or the planning process. Yes, weddings are stressful, but they don’t need to be. They should be fun. They should be full of champagne and laughter. They should be full of love. However, people often let this one day become bigger than the relationship.
A wedding, while a huge, once-in-a-lifetime affair, is only a fraction of what hopefully will be come years of happiness together. Instead of fussing about details that don’t matter like table numbers (hire us to do that), worry more about taking time out to enjoy each other and celebrate this milestone.
In the article, we discuss two red flags we see where some relationship intervention is needed.
- Saying “I or me” versus “we.” This is so small, but tells us a lot. There is no rhyme or reason to why some couples say me versus we. It is natural for all of us to say “me” or “my” at one point or another. The couples we are talking about never say “we or our.” With these people you can sense they are not as close. We find the people who are more focused on the singular are generally more focused on the wedding versus the marriage.
- Talking down to your partner. We want to be clear here, we are not talking about the funny little jabs like, “Shawn, will likely be at the bar all time.” We are talking about the type of statements that degrade the partner overall. Some couples we have worked with make several snide comments to us about their partner. This gets uncomfortable. We all understand little fights during planning, but if couples are tearing each other down in front of us, it is hard to swallow.
Most of our couples have good relationships and any stress or strain we see is normal during wedding planning (hello, dealing with parents). At the end of the day, you should step back and remember why you are getting married. Remember why you choose each other. And let all the rest of it go.
Photo by Kindling